


You'll Be Loved, Like You Never Had Known

by AndreaLyn



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 15:11:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18143843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: “How To Cope When You Develop a Crush” is a chapter missing from Michael’s Human Impersonation Textbook, a fact he discovers very quickly when he starts stealing alien artifacts from the UFO Emporium





	You'll Be Loved, Like You Never Had Known

_“Stole anything legit from the UFO Emporium…”_

* * *

In 2007, it costs twenty-five dollars for an annual pass to Roswell’s UFO Emporium.

Michael scrounges for cash by recycling cans and collecting quarters from the street. He picks up a few shifts at Foster Ranch, hauling milk around for the family, and when he has his money, he marches right up to the ticket booth, proud of what he’s accomplished, even if it’s all for a regular ticket to a shitty museum. 

When he gets to the booth, he’s counted all the change into neat piles so the teller won’t get pissed at him, but when he opens his mouth to apologize for the fact that most of his money is in change, he’s stunned into silence. 

Alex Manes is working here. Something inside Michael twists, holding his heart in a vice. They’re not really friends, but he’s always noticed Alex since Michael came back to Roswell in junior high, like he can’t take his eyes off him. He likes to look at him, trying to figure him out like he’s a mystery, but he can’t put his finger on why.

He just knows that his heart beats faster when he sees him, he wants to be at his best when Alex might be looking, he craves more moments between the both of them, and he did _not_ expect to find him here.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Michael blurts out, dropping the last few quarters on the ground before he can get them on the counter, fumbling like an idiot to pick them up. In the midst of his swift attempt to collect them, he ends up hitting his head on the counter on his way back up.

That whole attempt at being smooth and suave? Yeah. Michael’s pretty sure it’s not working. 

Alex’s eyes are wide with concern when Michael clears the counter, curls a mess. “That looked like it hurt, are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah, fine, I’m fine. I’ve had worse,” Michael waves his concern away, trying not to seem like too much of an idiot in front of Alex. “Hi,” he says, belatedly, because his whole human being impersonation is going pretty badly, but he can backtrack to the pleasantries and try and make up for it. “How long have you worked here?”

“Dad said I needed to earn my keep,” Alex says bitterly, looking down to fiddle with a pen, and when he looks up at Michael through eyeliner-lined eyes that are warm and soft. Michael’s breath catches in his throat and he squeezes the counter to steady himself. “They were hiring and didn’t really ask too many questions during the interview.”

“So, you … like aliens?” Michael asks awkwardly, _knowing_ he could have done that better.

He’s slept with a bunch of girls, he’s usually so much calmer and more collected. Why is Alex Manes throwing him off so badly? It doesn’t make any _sense_.

Alex reaches for the change, starting to count it as he shrugs. “I really just needed the job, I’m not sure I believe in aliens. I’m definitely not one of those weirdos who come into this place and fetishize them.”

Michael shouldn’t feel so disappointed by that, but maybe he’s just young and stupid, maybe he’s always strongly identified with that alien part of himself, because it’s not like humanity’s done such a great job of welcoming him in. Besides, what does it matter if Alex doesn’t want to fuck him. That’s not, like, a thing that Michael’s worried about. Is it? No. No, he just needs to get the annual pass so his comings and goings aren’t suspicious. Alex pushes a card across the counter. 

“You need to sign this,” he says about the back of the annual pass, adding the receipt. “You definitely like aliens, then?”

“I think the Roswell crash is fascinating,” Michael admits, “But uh, this is for a project,” he says, making sure to establish a strong cover. “I’m doing something for physics,” he says, which should work, because he shares English and Math with Alex, but AP Physics is all his and while it's true that they’re expected to turn in a project for the end of the semester, alien spaceships aren’t something Michael intends to publish work for his teachers to see. “I thought maybe I could theorize about interstellar travel.”

“With the stuff we have? I doubt it,” Alex replies, raising both his brows at once. 

Michael feels like he’s holding a breath, noticing how the eyeliner makes Alex’s eyes look even softer and how it makes the brown of his eyes seem to shift towards a warmer hazel. Alex doesn’t look away, and Michael can feel that his mouth is open, like he’s stuck gaping. He needs to _stop_ , he has things to do today. When he exhales, he fumbles and grabs at his card, wondering how long they were looking at each other.

“Enjoy the exhibits,” Alex says, which sounds like the party line he needs to tell all the visitors.

Slipping past the curtain into the museum, Michael feels like he can finally breathe again.

_What the fuck was that?_ he wonders, but doesn’t have time to focus on it. Sure, right now there’s no one, but there’s no telling when someone might interrupt him and he needs to get to work. He doesn’t even realize until that moment that him and Alex have never spoken alone, just the two of them like that before. There’s always been people around, whether it’s classmates or Liz and Maria, or Max and Isobel. Someone’s always been there to add noise and interference, which means Michael’s never really had a moment to think about why he finds Alex so fascinating.

Maybe he’s just desperate for more friends. He tells himself to call Max later, see if he wants to hang out, because today’s been weird and he could use a little support. He’s probably just lonely. Ever since he bolted from the last group home and started living in his truck, he’s a little more desperate for connection, that’s all.

That day, he smuggles out a piece of meteorite from the Emporium, tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. He tells himself not to be paranoid that he’ll be caught, because he’d made sure to shut off all the cameras before he slipped the piece into his pocket. No one will know what he’s done. 

And yet, he swears he’s not imagining Alex’s eyes on him as he leaves. Does he know? Or does he just feel that strange pull that seemed to burst to life between them?

Or does Alex watch Michael all the time and this is just the first time he’s noticing?

He turns at the street corner to glance back and see if Alex is still looking. When their eyes meet, Alex flushes and stares down at his pen again, leaving Michael validated that he’d been right about the looking, but confused about the _why_.

He definitely needs to hang out with Max, because his head is a mess and brotherly advice is exactly what he could use.

* * *

“Back again?”

Michael’s digging out his entry card when he looks up and sees Alex working the cash wearing that really stupid green visor. On his last visit, Michael thinks that he’d flagged down a mechanical piece of the ship that might have been part of the engine. He can’t be sure and he needs to look at it again, but AP tests have been eating his life and he hasn’t been able to make it back until now.

“Yeah,” he says, watching as Alex takes his card, handing it back to him, their fingers brushing. When he does. Michael breathes in shakily at the contact, which is rare outside of Max and Isobel’s touches, but it never feels like that when they touch him. He taps the window between them, biting his lip as he raises his brows hopefully. “You got tours?” he asks, pointing to the sign that says ‘Ask Us About Our Tours! They’re Out of This World!’

Alex rolls his eyes, like it’s the last thing he wants to be reminded of. 

“You seriously want the tour?”

Well, now, yeah, it’s all he wants. “Yeah, man,” Michael agrees, laughing nervously. “Are you the guide?”

“You really think they’d hire two people to staff this sad place?” Alex gives Michael a wry smile. “Let me put on my tour guide hat.”

Which, it turns out, is not a joke. There’s an actual _hat_.

Michael presses his lips together to stop from laughing, but even that doesn’t help. He pokes at the tinfoil antennae of the hat that Alex had put on, the two of them waiting in the lobby as if anyone else is going to join in on this tour. Alex bites his lip and ducks his head down, shaking his head.

“I know, it’s ridiculous,” Alex groans.

“I don’t know, you look kind of good,” Michael surprises himself when he says it, but it’s true. Alex ducks his head away, but he’s blushing and that makes Michael feel awkward as well. He looks away to compose himself, hoping he didn’t make Alex feel weird for saying it. “So,” he says. “What kind of amazing things are out of this world?”

“I think I’ve given this tour exactly twice,” Alex disclaims, opening the curtain to the small museum space, where the stars hang against the wall. “I don’t know. What are you most interested in seeing here?”

He’d come here for a piece of the ship, but he quickly realizes that he actually wants to go on this tour and hear what Alex has to say about aliens. He’s most interested in this, right here, but he doesn’t know how to say it, because he’s not sure how to put that into words without seeming like he’s being a creep.

“I, uh…” This whole stammering and idiot way he’s acting around Alex is getting old. “I don’t know. I guess, the lore about whether there were bodies? Why they came?”

“In that case, let me take you on a wild tale of intergalactic drama…” 

When the tour is done and Alex leaves to go take off his ridiculous hat, Michael knows he’s supposed to be taking a piece of the ship off the wall, but he’s too busy watching Alex take off his hat, running his fingers through his hair to fix it, staring in the mirror. In the reflection, he catches Michael staring, which makes him jump and turn rapidly, heart beating wildly. 

Why’s he staring? Why does he care so much what Alex Manes’ hair looks like or how it would feel to have those fingers sliding through his curls? 

It’s as if he’s been caught stealing from the museum, even if he’d only been caught stealing a look, but it feels every bit as dangerous and as exhilarating as though Alex had caught him prying pieces of the museum apart. 

He needs to focus on the ship and smuggling the piece out before someone realizes what they have. He keeps his head down, breathing out slowly, reminding himself of what’s really important – getting home.

That night, though, he doesn’t dream about his ship or home.

No, he dreams about how Alex had looked running his fingers through his hair and the way he’d looked at Michael when he’d caught him staring, like Alex had plans of his own.

* * *

Over the next few months, Michael works on stripping the museum of the last remaining three authentic pieces that they have. He always tries and brings in fakes to replace what he took so no one notices. When he shuts down the cameras, he makes sure they’re back on by the time he leaves, though he doubts anyone is watching the security footage. Every time he goes, he makes sure that he pays some extra attention to his hair, that he wears his cleanest clothes, and that he pops a half dozen mints before his visit.

It’s not that he’s consciously trying to look his best or anything, but the thought of looking like the guy who sleeps in his truck in front of Alex is embarrassing. He tells himself it’s about his reputation, nothing else.

On the day he swipes the last item, Michael lingers at the exit of the museum. 

Now that he has everything he needs from this place, there’s no reason to come back, which means that he’s not going to get to see Alex again outside of school. He could keep coming back with no intent to steal, but graduation is looming and he doesn’t even have his physics project excuse anymore. Paralyzed by the thought of not getting to see Alex regularly, outside of the eyes of people at school and family and any other onlookers, he doesn’t leave immediately like he’d been meaning to.

It means that Alex pokes his head past the curtain and finds him stalling. “Hey,” he says, voice low. “You hungry?”

_Always_ , he thinks, but doesn’t say. Food is something that Michael is lucky to get and usually comes by way of Isobel or Max sneaking him bags of groceries from the Evans’ place, things that he can keep in his truck that won’t spoil.

“Why?” he asks suspiciously.

“Because it’s lunch break and I get really tired of eating alone, staring at the little green men,” Alex says, holding up a brown bag. “I’ll share with you if you stick around?” 

There’s a moment between them that feels weighted with something Michael can’t put his finger on. It’s tension in the air and his stomach feels weird again, especially with the way Alex won’t stop looking at him so hopefully. Instinct tells him that he should go, especially when he has a chipped piece of the pod in his pocket.

Something overrides his instinct, though.

He tells himself he’s just hungry, but he knows deep down that’s not it. “Yeah,” he agrees, following Alex to the dingy little break room, where Alex divides up his turkey sandwich and hands him half. He holds it carefully, because it’s rare that he gets something like this. 

Again, he feels Alex’s eyes on him, but this time it’s because he’s looking back at him. 

That feeling is back and while he can’t place it, Michael’s learning that it’s not so bad. There’s this warmth he doesn’t understand, like he’s finally understanding what it’s like to feel safe. It’s not exactly like bundling up in his sleeping bag and knowing he owes nothing to anyone, but it feels _good_. It’s like the sun rising in the morning and warming his body from the inside.

“I finished my project,” Michael says, when the silence draws out and Alex doesn’t take his eyes off of him. “So, I guess that means I won’t be coming by so much anymore.” He wants to be honest and he wants to make sure Alex understands why he’s not going to keep coming around. 

Alex doesn’t look very happy with that news. “Oh,” he says, even though they both already know that. School’s almost over and in two months, they’ll be heading off for college. “Did you get everything you needed?”

He wants to say yes, because he has all the physical pieces that are real, but he doesn’t want to stop coming back and it has nothing to do with alien artifacts. At the same time, he still feels like there’s something unfinished between them, like he’s missing something right in front of his face.

“Yeah, I think I’ve exhausted everything I can here.” 

He knows that the next step is a shovel and the midnight sky covering him at Foster Ranch. He’s already talked to the family to get himself a steady job on the land so he can dig without suspicion. Besides, it’s only temporary. Next fall, he intends to be at UNM to take advantage of their labs and their equipment.

Eventually, he’s going to go home, but this afternoon, all he wants to think about is the way Alex Manes looks at him, how he touches his lips to wipe away crumbs, and the generous way he splits his dessert in two, laughing when Michael gets chocolate on his lips and how he reaches over to brush away the crumbs. That feeling is back in his stomach and his heart is racing again. Maybe he’s sick or broken somehow. Maybe he’s still paranoid that Alex is going to figure out what he’s doing and turn him in.

“What about you? You going to keep working here?”

Alex shakes his head. “As soon as I can, I’m getting out of here,” he says, words that Michael has never associated so strongly with. “I want to make music. I figure I’ll head out to California, write some songs. I don’t know,” he laughs, ducking his head. “Some days, I sit with my guitar in the music room and I think about what it’ll be like to be anywhere but here.”

Michael stares at Alex, at his kind eyes, at the curve of his lips, and at how talking about the future makes him light up. He remembers seeing that guitar and he smiles, crookedly, as he figures out another way to get to talk to Alex without coming to the museum.

“I know that feeling,” Michael promises. He wants to reach out and touch Alex, like somehow that’ll ground him, but he crumples up the brown bag to give his hands something to do. He’s heard rumors around school about Alex, about his preferences, and Michael isn’t like that. He doesn’t feel that way (does he?), but he’s also not planning to dismiss Alex because of what he likes. 

He understands why he wants to get out of town, though. Maybe for Alex, it’s his preferences and his dream. For Michael, it’s who he is right down to his DNA.

“I heard you got a full ride to UNM,” Alex says quietly.

“That news traveled fast, huh?”

“Yeah, well, our teachers are thrilled,” he says. “It’ll be really different from this place. Better,” he says. 

Michael doesn’t reply because he’s not sure he knows what he wants to say. He’s staring at Alex as the other boy cleans up the last remnants of lunch, leaning over to check the security cameras before Alex starts swearing. 

“Shit, I’ve got tourists at the desk,” he says, frantic. “Can you let yourself out?”

Michael nods, dumbly, and tries to understand why he’s such a mess around Alex. When he goes back to his truck, he drives the last piece he’d stolen to the fallout shelter and sits staring at all of his treasures he’s plucked from the Emporium, now clean of any trace of real alien artifacts. 

Something is going on and Michael still can’t figure out why he _feels_ like this. It's all centered around Alex, the man he wants to look good for, the one he wants to keep looking at, but the one he doesn’t understand.

What _is_ it about him?

* * *

Then, weeks later, in the shed, Alex murmurs that soft, “you’re welcome,” and leans in to kiss him. 

_Oh,_ he thinks. Oh, that’s what this is. 

He’s not sick. He’s not broken somehow. He’s just never understood that this is what it’s like when you like someone this much. He’s panicked too long, though, and the guitar is between them, music calming his head and putting the pieces into place. He _likes_ Alex. He likes him so much that he’s been hiding behind a wall because he’s so afraid of what that means, because it’s the first time that he’s ever actually liked anyone outside of his alien siblings and he definitely doesn’t like Max and Isobel like this.

He doesn’t dream about the warmth of their skin under his fingertips. He doesn’t think about hearing Alex playing music when he wakes up from a late night of studying. He definitely doesn’t think about Max or Isobel with their lips kissed roughly until they’re bruised and smudged eyeliner all over their faces.

Days later, Max calls it what it is – a _moment_.

Right, okay. He can do this. Michael definitely needs to figure out how he can have plenty more of those, which means as soon as Max heads out with Liz, Michael starts making his plans. He digs out his card for the museum and taps it on the diner table with a slowly building smile. 

It's time for him to go make a new moment.

That afternoon, the only thing he steals in the UFO Emporium is a kiss, but it’s worth more to him than any alien artifact ever could be, because it’s _Alex_. It’s Alex and he can finally place that warm feeling that surrounds him, that pit in his stomach, and that need to be the best version of himself when he’s near.

It's not that he ever counted on falling in love like a regular human high school senior, but he can work with it.


End file.
